Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Sanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. DON'T disguise your voice.

3. Everytime someone asks you to do something ask, "Do you want fries with that?"

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".

5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their Caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo field of all your checks write, "For Sexual Favors."

7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the Prophecy."

8. don't use any punctuation or capital letters

9. As often as possible, Skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To-Go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital, and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because "You're not in the mood."

16. have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, like, "Rock Hard".

17. When money comes out of the ATM scream, "I WON! I WON!"

18. when leaving the Zoo, start running for the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, THEY'RE LOOSE!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, We are going to have to let one of you go."